Mind Is Where Home Is

It's been a routine since childhood that we go out for a stroll after dinner. Everyday. And not just us whosoever lives in the colony has this routine. This is also an indication how much at peace they are. They relax and enjoy every moment of their day unlike us who crave for a proper night's sleep, leave alone going for a walk after dinner. We have hurried breakfasts, quick lunches and something in between dinner and breakfast at night. That term is yet to be coded.

Okay, so I've spent good 5-6 days at home this time. Luckily enough I was in time for Diwali. Yeah yeah we also like Diwali. Who doesn't? As a kid we used to blast more crackers than our neighbors. We had more fun than others and we sucked our Abba's blood more than other kids to get us crackers. It was sheer nostalgia to see those houses light up again this Diwali. While strolling down the streets we try to judge which house is looking the best and also which had been using the same lights every year, "arey yeh uncle to har baar yhi disco light laga dete hain" "arey inhone to apne bargad ke ped ko bhi sajaya hai". There's nothing like these carefree laughs and peaceful strolls.

Earlier those days all I wanted to know while watching the highway that went past my house was, where do these roads lead to. Where do these fast running vehicles go. Where do these broad roads meet. I liked the blinding lights of the innumerable cars on the road. "Wow! I also want to be a part of this rush." I had never been out of my campus. My entire schooling was done in the campus and it had more than sufficient facilities. We never felt the need of going anywhere else. Then when I had to move out of the campus for my graduation I learnt how people actually are. What are the challenges of life and how I've been living in a very safe environment till now. But that didn't scare me. I was enjoying that freedom and was loving every bit of Lucknow that I was seeing. I was a part of those broad roads, high value streets but still Lucknow is in a very stable place. People here are still much laid back. You can always find a thing in people from Lucknow, no matter where they go they'll still come back to Lucknow. It's like you want to travel the world but you'll always want to be buried in your hometown.

The roads of Lucknow connected with expressways and highways leading to metro cities. When all of my friends started moving out of Lucknow in search of jobs I still wanted to search something here. Maybe because I knew my dad won't allow and also because I was afraid to move to an unknown city. I've never been away. Too much coushoning is a spoiler. I wanted my parents to just let me fall and learn to get up on my own. They were adamant on not sending me and I found some job here itself. To be honest it was satisfying. Though they paid me peanuts. I did more work than I was paid for, but I still had peace of mind. I used to come home,teach my students and no matter how tired I was those kids refreshed me. My days were going well when fate turned over and I was sent to Delhi. 

I was hoping for the best. After much struggle and hard work I got the job I wanted in one of my 'dream companies'. Now I knew where those highways led to. Where those broad roads met. Where those blinding lights travelled and now I was a part of it. You never realize when you start aspiring. When you start dreaming and when Allah actually picks up pieces of fate, joins them and gives it to you. But little that we know that these aspirations are short lived. 

Now that I've been to most happening places, most throbbing clubs, ate the most delicious cooked food, but nothing can match to the pleasure of eating moongfali on a winter night, tucked in our quilts. I aspire to go back to the place from where I used to see these lights, these highways, these cars, these buildings. The weekend getaways, resort holidays or an evening at the spa cannot give you peace of mind. It cannot be bought anywhere.

Life is at it's best pace at home. Sometimes I just wish to play with the kids again like I used to, watch the sun set while I enjoy my evening tea, lie down on the green grass of my garden and just watch the birds fly over me. Coming home brings along so many memories. Some things that only we know that happened in these corners or on these staircases, some conversations that were shared only through our eyes, some places that only we discovered.

No matter how far we go we come back to this. Home. Peace of mind.

After the stroll my Abba notified me of yet another gov't exam that was going to be held soon. He does that every time and every time I brush it aside saying "I have what I wanted, I don't want another job." Knowing how much unsatisfied I am in my "dream job" I didn't want them to know it. Coz then they'll say,"chhod do aur ghar aa jao" as if it's that easy. Every one of us wants to come back home but quitting job and coming back is not an option. That too when there are hardly any jobs in Lucknow. That's the reason people take those wide roads and travel to metro cities. 

These jobs are like those girlfriends who annoy us but we have to be with them cuz they're beautiful and they're giving us what we want. We don't love them but we want to hang out with them because to be associated with them helps us flaunt them. In this case it's money and to be associated with them is a matter of dignity.Well, then peace of mind can go to hell. Relaxation is sold at every night club on the weekend. Life goes on despite all the complains we have about it.  

But today when my Abba asked me to fill the form for the job, I really wanted to consider that. I wanted to come home. Let the pay be less. I may not chill out in the most happening clubs here. Forget clubs, my weekend would be all about going to aminabad or chowk. But I'll be at peace. I'll be happy. It's a very hard choice between a peaceful life and an aspirational career that too when you've so much yet to achieve. But I guess coming home would not be a bad choice either.... what do you think?